Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
