it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
do herpes really smell.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
two words...techno handjob
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
