she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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