If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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