i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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