Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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