i would punch a child for taco bell
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
3 2 1 whiskey
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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