Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
