why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Alive.
So much puke
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
