He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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