And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
