i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
