its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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