Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
