It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just high enough for therapy.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize