so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
