Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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