I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
honey bunches of taint.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
