I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
we're so committed to being not committed
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
