My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
