so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
