im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
