at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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