Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize