Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
