I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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