I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
