at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
