Hey man sorry I got all grabby
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
