I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
