I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
