I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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