he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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