Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
