Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
