I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
