how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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