Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He did a backflip because drugs
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
