would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
