i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
time to smoke my breakfast
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
