No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
