Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
