I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize