The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
