that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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