I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
