so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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