nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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