I didn't shave. On purpose
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
