I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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