I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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