Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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