felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
