Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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