evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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