he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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