Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize