We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just want nice things and good sex
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
