Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
