I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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