Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
