Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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