dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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