if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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